


It Feels So Warm Near You

by Xiime



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: It's just really tiny, Just an excuse for making someone hug Russia, POV First Person, Tiny bit of Angst, tiny bit of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 13:24:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4566249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xiime/pseuds/Xiime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Russia is feeling lonely and China appears</p><p> </p><p>(I didn't have internet and this is what happened) (It's not actually good, but meh, I just wanted to post something) (Maybe I'll delete it later)</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Feels So Warm Near You

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted Russia, that giant teddy bear, to receive that well-deserved hug :3 I actually wrote this for me, but I might as well post it, idk  
> It's in 1rst person POV because I find it easier to write.
> 
> (I know this is horrible, forgive me)

I’m sitting in front of my desk, eating some food I’d just prepared. Estonia and Latvia have gone with Finland and Sweden for the day, and Lithuania is walking restlessly around me. I thought he was hungry, but when I asked him if he wanted to eat with me he paled and refused.

“It's everything alright?” I ask.

He looks up at me and says nervously, “Oh, it’s nothing importan Mr. Russia.”

“Hmm.” I say. I’m not feeling well today, maybe it’s colder than usual. Maybe it’s because the end of the year is coming closer, or because I haven’t met with any country apart from the Baltics in a few days. Maybe it’s because there are only two of us in this house and Lithuania is not looking well. The thing is, I can’t stay quiet. “Are you worried about something?”

His eyes widen in surprised at my question. “Well… Poland didn’t pick up the phone when I called him today. And yesterday he didn’t, either. I’m sure it’s nothing, but I just can’t stay calm.” He smiles nervously and continues walking in circles.

I know he really cares about Poland, I remember he once told me that he wished to go back to the days when they were together all the time. They are really good friends, aren’t they?

“Hmm.” I don’t have anything to say, so I just continue eating, and I see Lithuania sitting down on a nearby chair.

Three seconds later he suddenly stands up again .

“Mr. Russia.” He says with determination. When I look at him, he seems really nervous.

“Da?”

“P-p-please… C-can… Can I go… Can I go check on Poland?” And now he looks really scared. I wonder what he’s scared of.

“Shall I go with you?” I ask, worried about him.

“NO!” He jumps and immediately he says “S-sorry!! I… I mean… That’s not necessary, it’s fine, I’ll go and come back as fast as I can.” He looks at me expectantly. Well, I can’t have him worrying like that all day, and if he says he’ll be fine…

“Sure. Go.” Now that’s settled, I look down and keep eating.

“R-really?!”

“Yeah, go. Take your time.”

“Thank you, Mr. Russia!! See you later!” Lithuania grabs his jacket as fast as he can and then he runs off.

When I hear the door closing, I realize that in a normal day I wouldn’t have let him go alone so easily. That’s weird. Maybe I should go to sleep.

 

 

~.~.~.~.~.~

 

A few hours have passed since Lithuania went to Poland’s place, and I don’t know what to do. Everyone is out, spending time with their friends, and I’m just sitting in my house staring at the snow falling through the window.

Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania are my only friends, apart from my sisters, and I never needed more than that. I’m really grateful for being able to live with them. But now that they are gone, what do I do?

I take out my phone, intending to call someone, anyone, but when I scroll down my list of contacts I see lots of names of people I don't like or people I don't feel like talking to.

I guess I should just go and drink some vodka at the bar. I don’t have any more left here, anyway.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~

 

I find myself sitting in the bar with an empty bottle of vodka in front of me, feeling a bit warmer on the inside, and maybe because today I’m not in my usual state, with the alcohol already going to my head.

It’s cold and empty outside the bar. It’s cold and empty inside, too. I mean, there are a lot of people around me, but it’s the same as if there weren’t. There’d be still no one to talk to. No one to share a drink with.

Today isn't a good day. I've seen worse, of course, but this time it feels bad in other way. My friends have left me alone. They’ve gone to have fun with their other friends. Happier, nicer friends. Not cold and quiet like me. What if they don’t like me? What if they think I’m scary?

I don’t want to be scary. I want to be nice. Why can’t I be nice like their other friends?

I want someone to worry about me like Lithuania worries about Poland. I want someone that I can call everyday to talk about nothing. I want to see someone smiling at me sincerely, once in a while. Why can’t I have those things?

I can't answer that, so I just ask for another bottle.

 

I’m half way through it, looking at the light dancing in the colourless liquid, when I hear someone calling my name.

“Russia?” I look up to see China walking my way with a worried look. “Are you alright, aru?”

“China, my friend… Do you want some vodka? Do you wanna have a drink with me?” He sits next to me and doubts. I can’t really remember if he liked vodka. He surely likes it. Everyone does, don’t they?

He looks at me intently before agreeing. “Only a glass, thank you.”

“Hey, China…” I say while he waits for the glass. “I’m sorry.”

He looks at me surprised. “You are apologizing to me? What for?”

I look down at my glass. “For trying to take your house that one time… For those times I followed you in the panda suit… For everything bad I’ve done to you… Would you forgive me?” I look at him in the eyes. “Would you be my friend?"

He just stares at me. I don’t know what he sees, but he looks really concerned. Maybe he was going to meet up with some of his friends and I’m stopping him. Because if I actually think about it, Hong Kong and Korea, for example, must be much more important to him than someone like me. Maybe I’m being a nuisance.

“Sorry, don’t mind me. Go to do whatever you came to do. I was just about to go home, anyway,” I say, despite the fact that the bottle still has some vodka left. I stand up and prepare to go, but he grabs my arm and pulls me down again.

“Oh, shut up, aru, you are not going anywhere until you tell me what’s wrong.” He says angrily. I know he’s looking at me, but this time I just can’t return his gaze. I don’t know how to answer that… _Is_ _there_ something wrong? There is nothing today that is different from yesterday. But then, why is China here sitting next to me, looking at me with concern and asking me to open up to him?

“I… I don’t know.” I whisper. He doesn’t answer, and I finally meet his eyes. “I don’t know.” I repeat, more firmly.

He nods and pours what’s left in the bottle into two glasses. Without a word, he empties his glass in one go and waits for me to do the same.

“Should I walk you home, then?” He asks. “I don’t want to leave you like this, aru.”

“Actually…” I look at my hands, a bit embarrassed. “Can… can we go somewhere else? I don’t want to go back there. It’s too cold. Too empty.”

He stands up and makes me stand too. “Of course.” He leaves some money on the table and asks, “Do you want to go to my house?”

“Da… If that’s OK with you…” I say, and stand there, insecure, until he grabs my hand and pulls me out of the bar.

We walk in silence for a little while, and then he asks, “Did you say your house is empty? Where are the Baltics, then?”

“They’ve gone with their other friends. Estonia and Latvia are with Finland and Sweden. Lithuania was worried about Poland and went to visit him. Don’t you have to meet with your friends, too?”

“No, I was just bored at my house. You don’t have to meet with anyone, either?” He asks and looks up at me.

“No, I was bored too. It was snowing over there, so everything was white, and colourless." My voice turns into a whisper again, and I start despairing. "Empty.” He tightens his grip on my hand, like he senses my mood.

“Don’t worry, aru!" He says cheerfully. "Today is warm at my place, and the streets are colourful as usual!” When I don’t answer, he asks, “Do you want to stay there tonight?”

“You really mean that?” I say, suddenly hopeful. I was dreading the thought of spending the night alone in my house.

“Yes, of course,” says China, reassuring.

We walk in silence the rest of the way, with his hand not letting go of mine.  


~.~.~.~.~.~

 

When we arrive at China’s house, I suddenly feel shy. I’ve been there before, obviously, but not with China’s consent and certainly not in the middle of the night with the intention of staying over.

I just stay in front of the door, until China realizes I’m still standing there and says, “C’mon in, aru. Take off that coat, that scarf, you can’t stay there all night, can you?”

I take my coat off, but I’m not ready to let go of my scarf yet, so I leave it.

“I’ll go prepare dinner, make yourself at home,” he says, and goes to the kitchen. I sit on a sofa and wait. It’s really comfortable here. The room is warm and colourful, the sofa is fluffy, there are some cute cat cushions and, most important of all, I can hear him moving in the kitchen.

When he comes back with some cold food I just stare at him. I’m so grateful I can’t find words. He meets my gaze, and when I don’t say anything he just sits next to me, puts the food on the coffee table, and we start eating in silence.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I forgot to tell you earlier… Korea made a mess of the guest room last time he stayed over and I forgot to tidy it, do you mind staying in my room?” He says after we finish eating.

“No, it’s OK.” I say. “I don’t mind.”

 

I help him set up the place where I’ll sleep, and when we finish I just sit there, thinking.

“China, why are you being so nice to me?” I ask honestly, and he comes sits next to me.

“Because it seems like you need a hand and I’m worried about you, aru. Can you tell me what happened, now?” He asks tentatively, looking into my eyes.

“Are you my friend?” I ask, avoiding the question.

He looks surprised. “Well, I guess so. Why do you ask?”

I move closer to feel him next to me and say, “I just need a friend. Please don’t go away too, China. Don’t leave me alone today.”

“I won’t leave." He hugs me slowly and I feel all the tension going away as I hug him back. “You are not alone anymore.”

“Thank you…” I say with the voice muffled, pressing my face against his neck. He doesn’t ask again, but I know he deserves an explanation, so I try to tell him. “I… I felt horrible when everybody left today. So empty and unimportant. I longed for what they have, someone who cares deeply about them. Someone who goes to visit you just because you didn’t answer a phone call. I felt so… lonely…” Without realizing, my voice had turned into a whisper again, and the moment I say that last word I can feel my eyes starting to sting.

“Don’t worry anymore,” China says. “If you let me, I’ll care that deeply about you.”

He wipes away a tear I didn’t notice streaming down my face, and pulls me down on the bed. Even though I’m much bigger than him, he manages quite well to lie down without letting me go. He kicks a blanket over us and says softly, “Just sleep, my friend. I won’t let go of you.”

I feel so safe here, in his arms. I know he meant what he said, so I just lie there, and his eyes looking at me with fondness are the last thing I see before my eyelids start closing and darkness –warm, cozy darkness- starts covering me.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I like to think that, after that, they talked every once in a while on the phone ^^  
> Poland's pony had eaten his phone and that's why he didn't answer ;D
> 
> Thanks for reading ~


End file.
